SLOW Tantric Lovemaking Rituals For Couples

Do you wish to boost your stamina, gain self-confidence and transform into the alpha male lover? Simple, proven slow sex tricks can turbocharge your sex life. A slow sex practice can revitalize intimacy and enhance the sexual pleasure of both partners while reducing your respective susceptibility to the stress and strain of daily life. In the digital era, more data is at your fingertips than ever before, thus you can become stuck living in your head, increasingly disconnected from your body and  sexuality.

 

As technology vies for your attention, you may feel distracted, anxious or disconnected from yourself and sex partners. The more anxious and disconnected you feel, the more you may crave a quick fix; i.e., five-minute cures,  fast foods and faster orgasms, whatever can distract you from your unsettling feelings of bodily disconnect.

In a sad but common worst case scenario, couples have sex a few times per week with each session lasting anywhere from two to ten minutes. Commonly, clients report that they sexually engage with their partners for a total of 30 minutes per week.

As a sexual intimacy coach, I love to witness clients slowing down, deeply connecting with each other as they practice spiritual sex.   People race around to accumulate material and social status, hoping to ultimately wind up with The One.  Love is always the answer; slow sex is a delicious, efficient way to access that love.
Given a choice between 30 minutes weekly of shallow, depleting sexual activity, and five hours of energizing, connected, emotionally invigorating sexual play, most healthy adults would opt for the latter.
Would you prefer fast food three times a week only to later feel drained and grumpy or healthy gourmet-style food 10 hours a week to feel recharged after each meal?  The choice is self-evident.  In a similar vein, slow sex rocks your world!

 

The sexual body is the soul’s prison unless all five senses are fully developed and opened.
The senses are the windows of the soul.
When sex involves the intensity of all five senses, a mystical experience takes place.

 Slow Sex: Benefits

  • More frequent orgasms
  • More powerful orgasms
  • Deeper connection between you and your significant other
  • Fewer fights outside the bedroom
  • Less stress in your daily life
  • Increase in sexual activity
  • Your partner is likelier to initiate sex as your quality of erotic play enhanced.
  • Slower sex boosts a male’s ability of achieving multiple ejaculatory orgasms without being deterred by a refractory period.
  • Greater knowledge on how to arouse your partner and bring them to climax

Slow Sex: Foreplay

Slow sex starts with foreplay, which sets the tone for the overall sex session.
Many couples’ pre-sex rituals involve whatever builds the sexual tension and anticipation in the room.
It could be as overt as putting on your sexy music playlist and lustily gazing into your partner’s eyes, saying “Get your sexy butt into this bed now” or as subtle as grabbing your partner’s butt as they’re bent over the sink brushing their teeth.
However you set the stage, allow the time and space for slowness in your pre-sex rituals.
Turn off all digital distractions so as to get out of your head and tap into your body. Bathe together or start with light massage. Even slow dancing to imaginary music in your boudoir will work.  Do whatever it takes to disengage from your day, get into your body and connect with your partner is fabulous pre-foreplay.

Slow Sex: Foreplay Tips For Your Female Partner 

Only your partner knows the litany of their sexual turn-on’s and turn-off’s, thus an ongoing open, candid dialogue is vital to forge the best mutual sexual experience.
In Taoist sexual philosophy, women and men cultivate sexual energy differently. Women cultivate sexual energy like a whirlpool, starting from the outer extremities and needing to be slowly brought towards the centre. Meanwhile, men bring forth sexual energy like a whirlpool but from the centre outwards. Simply put, male sexual energy starts in the genitals and spreads outwards over time while female sexual energy starts in the extremities and must be slowly brought towards the genitals.

 

Unless your female partner explicitly tells you to jump right in, ideally start with kissing, cuddling, touching and necking. Then, work your way towards manual stimulation and oral sex. Your best guide to your partner’s needs next resides in her body, breath, words and sexual response.

 

  • Spend time touching and cuddling. Envelope her in your arms. Lightly stroke her hair. Run your fingers along her back, spine, and thighs in slow, lingering, circular motions to awaken her senses. If genuinely felt, make small appreciative grunts and moans to reveal how much you adore her delicious body.
  • Ask you lover if she enjoys being kissed on the neck/shoulder area. If so, spend a few minutes lightly breathing on the nape of her back, behind her ear, over her shoulder where her bra strap would normally fall. Easy does it. Start very gently. Let your breath and lips do most of the work to begin with and simply graze their skin. Over time, use somewhat firmer touch, suck on her flesh lightly, and maybe incorporate some teeth if she’s into that. Again, calibration. Some women like no teeth at all, others like it when you leave marks. It all depends on the individual and her preferences.
  • Spend ample time kissing her in a slow, loving manner. Kiss her face, neck, arms, ribs, stomach, legs, inner thighs. Gently take her face in your hands and kiss her softly. Grab a fistful of her hair and kiss her lustily. Calibrate; pain-related preferences as an arousal mechanism is unique; some women love it, others hate it.
  • Put enough time into the preparatory phase to ensure she is already wet when you put your fingers between her legs. If unsure, double the teasing or foreplay time. Her body should move in response to your roaming hands. Her breathing will change. If you’ve never spent more than 30 minutes on foreplay before, it grows increasingly clear when she wants you to escalate to touching her genitals.
  • Once you identify that she wishes you to touch her yoni, easy does it. Slow sex is meant to be extremely slow. Enjoy the slow pacing of the drawn out tease. Run your fingers over her stomach and hip bones, down her hips to the inside and outside of her thighs. Take your time. Remember the whirlpool analogy. Slowly find your way there. Let your fingers take their time finding their way into her wetness. even when they have, use slow, long strokes. Her vulva is a whirlpool so take your time finding your way to her clitoris.
  • Upon mutually deciding to engage in oral sex, kiss your way down her body. Kiss a path down her neck, collar bone, breasts, nipples, rib cage, stomach, hips, legs, inner thighs, calves, the crease where her thigh meets her groin or pubic mound. Kiss her everywhere, multiple times!
  • Get comfortable when preparing for cunnilingus. Sub-communicate to her  the following,  “I am sitting down to my favourite meal in the world… I’ll be here for a while so don’t mind me. Just sit back and relax.” Contorting your body into an awkward position will inevitably make you cramp up. Not only will it hurt your neck and body, but it communicates from the get-go “I’m just doing this for a few seconds as it’s expected but I won’t be here long.” So get comfortable and take your time. Hopefully, you have been exercising your tongue and jaw so as to last as long as needed while down there.
  • Of all the foreplay/sexual contact with your partner, consider its intent. Play with this. Vary it. Experiment. How would you touch your lover if the intent behind your touch was to show and communicate tenderness? How about lust versus love? How does your intent shift your tactile dynamics when using your hands, lips, tongue or other?
  • Does your partner prefer rougher or more aggressive foreplay?  Clearly, she is the expert on her own body.  Does she have her own unique style of foreplay preference; i.e, foot massage, spanking, 20 minutes of slow nipple sucking or neck licking?  Simply approach the encounter with an open mind and just listen. In so doing, your slow sex session is bound to fulfil you mutual desire for passion and pleasure.

 

Slow Sex: Foreplay Tips If Your Partner Is A Man

Contrary to popular belief, foreplay and slow sex do not just benefit women.
Both male or female enjoy more intense orgasm from the repeated rising and falling of their sexual arousal. View extended sexual play as the masculine and feminine energies balancing themselves out by drinking each other in via scent, fluids, touch and proximity.
Men benefit from extended slow sex just as much as women do, albeit in different ways. A woman may find it easier to achieve multiple orgasms than a man. Meanwhile, a man needs to get out of his head and enter his body due to his hyper-logical relationship with his masculine.

Slow Sex: Foreplay Tips for Men

  • Calibration is key. Males know their own sexual desires better than any internet article. Thus, ensure you thoroughly communicate before and during your sexual play, as well as outside the boudoir.
  • A male can only achieve a sexy mood once he exits his head. On a consistent basis, touch can easily get him out of his head and into his body, be it through an extended hug, tender kiss on the lips or his bare torso connecting with yours after work. Yes, nothing gets a male more into his body than physical contact. Start there.
  • Consider the energy behind the touch. Your partner may need you to start with care, softness and tenderness or strongly respond to you unexpectedly grabbing their crotch while they’re doing a non-sexual activity; i.e., washing the dishes.
  • Feeling frisky in bed?  Start with touch. Run your fingers through his hair. Move your hands over his chest. Kiss his neck, shoulders, arms, and back. Awaken his flesh with your lips and fingers.
  • Kiss him softly. Suck on his lower lip, graze your lips across his torso, press your body against his. Your hair can act as another hand; drag it over him slowly, let it fall where it may. There is no order to this. Feminine chaos is part of your sexual allure so embrace it.
  • After some touching, kissing, cuddling, teasing, you will know when he is erect, wanting more. Just as your wetness doesn’t mean you are necessarily ready for penetration, an erect penis doesn’t always means he wants penetrative coitus.  Even if he does, this is slow sex. He’s allowed to wait a bit longer.  Walk the line between building anticipation and sexual tension and creeping up on his genuine frustration. You want to handle his penis/take him into your mouth efore he’s truly frustrated and starts to lose his erection. Yet, the window of time is likely longer than you think so let him squirm!

Slow Sex: Anticipatory Pleasure

  • When you start interacting directly with his lingam, find your way there slowly. Run your fingers along his torso, tease his inner thighs and kiss your way down his body. Slowly run your finger tip along the underside of his shaft. Gently palm his balls and and work your way up from there.
  • If you want to take him into your mouth, take your time. Hover your face near the glans of his penis. Lick your way up from the base of the shaft to the tip. When first taking him into your mouth, either surprise him by taking him in in all at once or teasingly just take part of his head past your lips and pause for a moment. Whether you start with small, teasing kisses or envelope him fully, you are on track. Just take your time. If his lingam is near your mouth, he’s happy!

Slow Sex: During Your Sexual Play

Taking it slow definitely sets a luscious stage for some nourishing, heart-exploding sexual foreplay.
Know that you are encouraged to use your hands and mouth as standalone acts during and between rounds of penetrative sex. Indeed, it is far more fun to use all your parts with all their parts all the time!
Sex should never be neat, sterile or linear; rather, it should be a pleasure-driven free for all. Playful, enjoyable sex involves intense feelings as you deeply connect.  Here, you can freely throw off the shackles or put on them in D/s play.

infuse Your Sexual Exploration with The Element of Slowness

  • Take your time during penetration Savour the moment. Enter or allow entry while feeling every inch of your partner’s flesh.
  • Make eye contact, wear blind folds, Kiss or bite! Try  some dirty talk. Describe what you’re doing and what they’re doing to you, and what you want to happen next. Use your mouths, hands, and ears to touch, feel, communicate, taste and play. You have all night.
  • Bring them close to orgasm, then stop just before they climax. Do this few times in order to intensify their eventual orgasm, or you could do this for hours/all night (orgasm denial)
  • Make them climax with your hands,  mouth, and genitals. Your partner may love building up to one massive orgasm and calling it a night, which can still be intensified or slowed down with kissing, cuddling and connection exercises. Alternatively, they may wish to climax so often that you both lose count. 
  • Burn candles, adjust mood lighting, play sultry music during your erotic interactions.  Then, kill the sound and enjoy slow sex in silence. The sole music for your session will be your breathing and vocals. Tuning into your partner’s sexual arousal is much easier without any auditory distractions in the room.

Slow Sex: Aftercare

Even if you both feel like collapsing into a spent pile of oxytocin-flooded awe, you can do much to relish the moment as the afterglow transports you back down to a blissful reality.
If you are a male and female partnership, maybe the male partner had one orgasm and his partner had a dozen and the male partner has ample energy to give his partner a massage as she drifts in and out of sleep. Maybe you benefit from close, pressed-up-tight cuddling while you both still glisten with sweat. Or, hop into the shower to lather each other up and wash off the sweat and massage oil.
Whatever you get up to as your sex sessions is winding down, take your time doing it. Don’t race through it as you do most most of your life; rather, slow down and savour every sensation, moan, hair follicle, tender kiss and orgasm. Remain present for it all. Watch your partner unfurl in ecstasy as you further deepen your bonds of intimacy.
In sexual relations, no one-size-fits-all linear progression exists. So, reframe sexual play as circular, chaotic and random. Each act can spontaneously occur in each moment of sex play. There is no before, during and after, just a moment-to-moment sacred, loving, mutual body honouring
Treat your partner’s pleasure like serving them is your religion. Their body is the temple, oral sex is an act of prayer, and lovemaking accords to honouring your god or goddess.

 

  • Email this article to your partner. Once you mutually agree, put an extended slow sex session in your calendar.
  • Purchase your preferred massage oils, toys, music or mood lighting for your slow sex session, then make it happen.
  • Commit to engaging in a slow 3-hour tantric sex session your partner.

 

  • Be prepared to feel far more emotionally and sexually connected to your intimate partner than ever before..
  • The sooner you and your beloved sexually align, the sooner you can reap the rich, harmonizing benefits of slow sex.

I am Dakini Devi Bliss, a Certified Tantric Teacher Sacred Intimate, Blissful Bodyworker and Certified Bondassage® practitioner. A lifelong spiritual seeker, I have been formally trained in energetic aura manipulation, hypnosis, Kundalini awakening, Tantric healing, massage therapy, Reiki and Dark Tantra. In my multi-disciplined approach, I manipulate sexual energy for the highest good. With a background in tantra, kundalini yoga, meditation, qi gong, energy work, sexual psychology and relationship coaching, I am also a certified Bondassage® and Elysium practitioner. I employ a unique, rich healing blend for each client.

My tantra training initiation was a lengthy process extending over several years, including studies in India, to gain the requisite experience to instruct others. My spiritually-based practice is ideal for those who wish to embrace a higher, enlightened state and use tantra to create kundalini awakening and a deeper connection to their partner(s). I possess a nurturing, joyful nature with a peaceful warrior mindset.